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The Quizmaster Presents: I Could Make A Better Horror Movie!

Linda Blair as Reagan in The Exorcist (1973)by Dave Umbricht

Or you could make it worse.

We often think we could make a better movie than the one we just watched.  We would cast it differently, change some plot detail, or direct it better than the hack that did.

Here’s you chance.  Change an element of each (or any) of the following movies to make it better.

And since we’re playing with some classic films, for extra credit, makes some changes that would make it absolutely worse.

Forgotten Flix has gone horror for October, so here are 5 horror movies that you get to change:

 

  1. Halloween (the original)

  2. The Exorcist

  3. Jaws

  4. Alien

  5. Cat People (the original or the over-sexed 80’s version)

Be free, have fun, and give us some answers in the comment section below.

Dave Umbricht Bio

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About Dave Umbricht

Dave Umbricht is a self proclaimed "guy who knows a couple of things". However, he has never claimed to know them well. Genetically predisposed to love movies, at age ten he felt really cool being the only fourth grader who knew of the film "My Dinner with Andre", thanks to Siskel & Ebert. For the next twenty years he pretended to have seen the movie until he finally watched it at age 28 and understood what all the fuss was about. He attempted to watch all of the films on Ebert's Great Movies list by age 40. He failed.

9 comments for “The Quizmaster Presents: I Could Make A Better Horror Movie!

  1. Mags
    October 4, 2011 at 11:50 am

    I’ve often thought that The Exorcist would have benefitted from a couple of song and dance routines.

    • October 4, 2011 at 12:04 pm

      I agree Mags. I’d love to hear Father Karras break out into a rendition of “On My Own” after Father Merrin bites it… ; )
      Joel G. Robertson
      Sent from my iPad

  2. October 4, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Wow.  This is a cool one although I’ve never actually thought I could do it better with any movie.  I generally have a reverence for the craft and even those that “stink” by general public consensus still hold high for me, because they’re all better than the movies I’ve made, WHICH IS NONE.  Add to that the fact that these are some of the greatest directors of all time to me (and 4 of my 5 favorite horror movies ever), and the task is even more daunting. So I preface with this: I toss these suggestions out, not because I think they would be better, but more as if I was asked to do a “Jason’s Cut” version of the movie for DVD release. Line up now. They’re gonna go like hotcakes.

    Halloween – Give it a thrash metal rock/synth back track. No I’m not talking the Rob Zombie remake but some hard guitar would give it a different feel.  And just to give Joel fits, I’d toss in a bunch more fast cutaways and some CGI blood.

    The Exorcist – Not much here, although I would love to play with sound. toss in some really faint whispers, rasping, or whining sounds that fade and grow at certain points.  This would be a surround sound or theater special only so I could play with movement of the sound.

    Jaws – Exact same movie in takes place in the North Sea (basing it in the UK) with an all British cast. David Bradley as Quint, Bob Hoskins as Hooper, and Hugh Laurie as Brody. Bam! Blockbuster!

    Alien – Re-shoot the entire thing from the alien’s point of view.  All of it.  Even the bursting out of chest scene.  Start with mama lovingly laying the egg. Some terrible, evil aliens come down and kill a bunch of his brothers and sisters and spend the rest of the movie trying to kill him as he does all he can to survive.  Take them out before they take him out.

    Cat People (80s version) – Two words, Mila Kunis.

    And the best way to make any of these worse (other than letting me make any changes)? Remake them.  Seriously, if Hollywood would like to ruin any of these, then the fastest way is to try and reinvent or re-purpose them.  Leave them alone! OK. Nuff said.

    • October 5, 2011 at 7:10 pm

      Jason? I take my hat of for you! Well ok, so I don’t actually own a hat, but I COULD go out and buy one just to be able to do this for you. Great stuff!  

  3. Kimster
    October 5, 2011 at 10:55 am

    In the original version of “Halloween”, it falls on a Friday and Laurie and Michael switch bodies like Freaky Friday.

    The shark from “Jaws” is replaced by a dolphin.

    Haha! This was a great idea, Joel! I’ll try to think of some more plot changes.

    • October 5, 2011 at 11:57 am

      Hi Kimster! Those are some great plot changes (I especially like the Freaky Friday idea). And while I’d love to take credit for this particular idea, alas, I can’t as this came from The Quizmaster himself, Dave Umbricht! : )
      Joel G. Robertson
      Sent from my iPad

      • October 5, 2011 at 8:25 pm

        Well Dave had an awesome idea! Sorry I’ve been MIA for so long. You all are too cool. I’ve missed you guys! 🙂

        • October 5, 2011 at 8:29 pm

          Missed you too! Glad to have you back! 🙂

  4. dumbricht
    October 5, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    Great work everyone. Time to try my hand at my own game.

    Halloween

    Perfect score, would only be enhanced if done by Goblin (add more POV and it is an Argento movie anyway). Cast Margot Kidder in a cameo as a nod to Black Christmas.

    Exorcist

    Better: Jodie Foster

    Worse: Make it a found footage film

    Jaws

    Make it a killer whale and cast Bo Derek and Richard Harris.

    Alien

    Alien designs by Jim Henson Productions.

    Cat People

    Original: Perfect film

    80’s: Natassja Kinski is actually a twin (one is a cat, one is not – both may or may not have a yen for Malcolm McDowell)

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