This is the end, beautiful friend….
We snickered, we cried, we marvelled as Jason and Joel heroically smashed the 2-hour barrier….
Yes my friends, the forgotten flix podcast is no more. All we’re left with is the sound of tumbleweed and the faint ghost of a terrible accent, like laughter in the wind.
How to cope? What are we meant to do with no new episodes to fill our time with? Fly to Florida and hang out at Jason’s house demanding a return to the podcast until he gets restraining orders taken out? Hide in Joel’s garage and just whisper ‘podcaaaaaaast’ every time he walks in, driving him slowly mad? Whilst that would be a lot of fun, it’s really not practical, and probably a little bit mean.
Because I was rubbish and totally failed to call in with a goodbye message, and because I can’t remember the last time I managed to contribute to the site (aside from laughing hysterically down Skype at Joel for this years spooky flix)… My parting gift has to be one last How To….
How to cope now that the Forgotten Flix podcast is no more…
1. Take a risk
Quoting young Grooms, as he said towards the end of the final episode, “take a risk”. In (I think) 2011, I got a message from a certain Joel Robertson asking what Subscribers to forgotten Flix wanted to see on the site. I took a deep breath, mailed back and asked if I could contribute, despite having little to no writing experience and thinking that everything I put on paper was more than a little rubbish. And bless him, he humoured me and not only published my inane ramblings, but continued to do so for as long as I was sending him stuff. Which was cooool.
So, what you should do instead of weeping quietly as you re-listen to episode 1, whimpering ‘but whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy??!’ to yourself is go and do something exciting. If that’s a little too intimidating at this stage, go and put on your favourite inspirational movie, one that fires you up and makes you want go and take on the world.
One of my favourites is ‘Working Girl’ because it’s awesome and because, well, if you haven’t seen it, don’t just dismiss it as a fluffy 80s chick flick- it’s smart and hilarious and glorious. Plus, if you’re ever in New York, I totally recommend riding on the Staten Island ferry and channelling your inner Melanie Griffith whilst humming Carly Simon to yourself. There are a dozen other flicks I could mention at this point, but won’t…. I think by now everyone knows that I’m rarely more inspired than after watching a training montage circa 1987.
2. I’m with stupid
So, we all know why Jason’s retired from the podcast and not one of us wishes him anything but the best of luck with all his new endeavours, but the truth of the matter is that J&J are/were an awesome twosome!
So, to get a dynamic duo fix, I’d recommend a buddy movie. And let’s face it, the best kind of buddy movie is a 1980s actioner…. Think Tango and Cash, Point Break, I’d even put my own feelings about Mel Gibson aside and say Lethal Weapon. For something more recent I’d point you towards In Bruges, and for those of you who don’t think there are any good female buddy movies, go and check out Outrageous Fortune with Shelley Long and Bette Midler. Love it.
3. Think of the children!
And by children, of course I mean Joel, left alone with no one to talk to, weeping quietly as he sits by himself. Slowly those tears turn to giggles, cold, humourless giggles that become more and more manic. Suddenly he realises he needs to find new friends, friends that’s won’t abandon him. Off Joel goes to the toy shop, feverishly hunting up and down the aisles for new co-hosts so he need NEVER BE LONELY AGAIN……
Er, ok, so maybe I have a slightly over active imagination when it comes to Joel’s home life, but is there anything more heartbreaking than a fallen angel, a hero turned villain? Anakin Skywalker, Harvey Dent, even Travis Bickle to a certain extent, and perhaps Joel, you shouldn’t watch The Shining for a while.
Although I am looking forward to your new podcast “All work and no play makes Joel a dull boy”….
4. To be continued…
So the lads have promised us, at the very least, a Spooky Flix fest in 2015. Very generous, chaps, but that’s A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR AWAY!!!
Back in 2001…2…?….anyway sometime in the early noughties I sat in a cinema as the credits rolled on The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring raging, RAGING, that The Two Towers wouldn’t be out for another year.
We live in an age if instant gratification nowadays: Netflix and the like allow us to stream a series (whether film or TV) instantly, no waiting required. So what to do whilst we wait for another aural fix of Forgotten Flix…?
Well, I’ve already mentioned The Lord of the Rings, but why not start at the beginnings of your fave film series and work through them…
You could go with the Friday 13th films, or Nightmare in Elm Street, or Police Academy, or the Fast and the Furious, if that’s your bag. Me, I might sit down with the Rocky films (conveniently forgetting the aberration that is Rocky V), because they are brilliant. Adriiaaaaaaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!
5. Do what it says on the tin…
So, Forgotten Flix. When was the last time you actually watched one of yours? I’m very fortunate that I live in a city with a cinema that shows old films regularly (last week I saw The Fisher King, and I’ve just bought a ticket to see The Crow), but as I said before, you can watch virtually anything online these days, if you can’t find a certain title on DVD, VHS, whatever your favourite format is.
Dig out that film that you love, that you get sick for enjoying, that took you ages to track down, the subject of an intense eBay bid.
Pop some corn, turn the lights out and enjoy!!!